This Has to Be Some Kind of Inception or Something
by Ember Ardent Flame
Summary: My name is Kaylee Smith. I was just a normal TMM fan like you. Tokyo Mew Mew was an anime. I knew that it wasn't real. I thought that it was all fiction. But then Ryou Shirogane caused me to wreck my car into a ditch, and now I know just how wrong I was. I have to save the world from the aliens. Just one problem... I'm a Kisshu fangirl. COMPLETE!
1. The Incident

**Author: I'll get it out right here and now. I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew (and neither does Ryou.) I'm only saying it once, so remember it, okay?**

* * *

I sat on my couch, laptop on my knees, typing up my latest work of fan-fiction. _Tokyo Mew Mew is, without a doubt, the best anime ever!_ I thought as I pounded the keys. This particular story was a one-shot about Ichigo and Masaya's relationship after the final battle. I had imposed a few alterations, keeping both Deep Blue and the Blue Knight alive inside of Masaya's body. These entities would express themselves on occasion without switching biological forms as before. The story was basically about Ichigo's frustration with Masaya's "multiple personality syndrome". Of course, it was a comedy.

It was at that moment that I got a text from Joey.

-"Froyo? Meet me Swirlz n 10." –

I rolled my eyes. Joey was always so… Joey; playing it cool and acting like I wouldn't notice that this could be a date. But whether it was a date or not, I didn't really care. I had been there and done that with Joey. He was probably the longest unrequited crush I'd ever had; at around six months. Eventually I got over it, and _then_ he starts wanting to spend time with me. Guys make no sense, especially guys like Joey. Right now, I could care less if he thought it was a date. Let him think what he wants. If it was a date, would I turn it down? Probably not. But it's not like I'm dying for there to be anything between us anymore, so if it isn't a date, that's fine too.

I clicked the 'save' icon on my story and went to find my purse. Swirlz – the local frozen yogurt shop – was five minutes from my house. I had plenty of time to get ready. I found my purse hanging over the footboard of my bed and put my phone inside. I snatched my iPod off of its charger and threw that in too. Stopping at the mirror, I pulled my red hair up into a high ponytail and tied it off with a hair elastic. I sighed at the unsatisfactory appearance. Curse you, teenage acne! Why does summer always make me break out? Oh well. It's not like I was trying to impress him or anything, so I shrugged and walked back down the hall. Passing through the kitchen and the laundry room, I made my way to the garage.

I stood in the garage and debated riding my bike instead of taking the car. _The bike would be better for the environment. It's stuff like cars that make the aliens want to kill us. _I chuckled at my TMM joke as I thought of Kisshu. I had to correct my train of thought before it wrecked into the gutter, something that always happened when I thought of him. I refocused on the problem at hand. _If I take the bike, I'll make Joey have a nice, long wait. _I smirked. For some reason, I was feeling spiteful today. _But… If he has to wait, he might leave. And I'll get all sweaty in this heat. Plus, I'm not even sure if the trails through the park are open. Ugh. Why did the city have to turn a nice forest trail into a set of baseball diamonds? _So, I decided on the car.

* * *

I was almost out of the residential area when it happened. A bright, red light flashed all around me. What was going on? One minute I was on the way to meet up with a friend, and the next I was in a ditch on the side of the road. Thankfully, I hadn't lost consciousness. I tried to sit up straighter, which was difficult because the entire vehicle was on an incline. It was then that I saw it.

A gray cat with bright blue eyes sat on the hood of the car. _No way. _I somehow managed to unfasten my seatbelt and get out of the vehicle, standing in the tall grass as the cat began to emit a strange blue light. _No way. _And there - sitting right on the hood of my car just like he did in the opening theme - was what I could only describe as a real life version of Ryou Shirogane. "Yo!" he waved casually.

_NO WAY! Omg, Kaylee. You have been spending _way _too much time in the anime world. And now you've gone and- and – lost it! _

"Hello? Is anyone home?" Due to my mind rant, I had failed to notice that Ryou had walked over to me until he started waving his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I snapped out of the trance and stared up at him. This boy gave _Joey_ a run for his money. Wait – there were two things wrong with that statement. Did you catch them? The first was, _Why am I thinking of _Joey _like that again? _And the second… "You're not real." I pointed at Ryou.

He exhaled a sigh of relief. "Good. I was worried that you hadn't seen it. It didn't get as popular as I'd hoped."

I stared at him like he was a ghost. And, he kind of was. Anime people don't visit the real world. That defies some sort of parallel universe law… or something. "You expect me to believe you're real? You're Ryou Shirogane, the son of the guy that invented the Mew Project, the guy that initiated the Mew Project, and the guy that obviously is a pervert because of the outfit that he makes his employees wear?"

Ryou raised an eyebrow at the 'pervert' part, but otherwise he seemed unaffected by my words. He merely shrugged and said, "Yeah. But I'm not a pervert. I can't help it that anime shows dress girls that way."

I just shook my head. "Look. You have a really great cosplay outfit. And I won't deny that the whole cat-transformation thing took some wicked special effects. I'm still trying to figure out how you did it, honestly. But I am a sane and logical person, and you are not going to drag me into the world of crazyville, no matter what you do."

He dug his hands into the pocket of his white jeans and pulled out a tiny figure. Opening his palm, the thing inflated to full-size and hovered there; a tiny robot covered in pink faux fur. "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you," it chirped cheerily.

"Omk, is that Masha? He's a gillion times cuter in person!" I grabbed the furry robot and started screeching things like, "Kawaii, desu ne!" (It's cute, isn't it?) And Ryou stood there looking embarrassed for my sake.

"Yes, that is _R200_," Ryou answered. "You don't have to name him Masha if you don't want to."

"Huh? What do you mean? I name Masha?" I released the little powder-puff, and it floated back over to Ryou's right shoulder.

"You're a Mew Mew. You're the first Mew Mew, actually. Mew Strawberry," he replied. "So, you get to name the pink version of R200."

"Pink version? You mean there are other Mashas? Wait- WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M A MEW MEW?"

Ryou sighed in frustration. "Have you or haven't you seen Tokyo Mew Mew?"

"Well, yes, I have, but-"

"Then I shouldn't have to explain to you what a Mew Mew is." He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, his cold blue eyes drilling a hole in me.

This was the last straw. Who was this arrogant cosplaying jerk? "Look, mister! I don't know who you think you are! – Scratch that, I do. You think you're Ryou. – But I don't know who you are or where you get your awesome accessories. And it is not nice to play pranks on innocent TMM fans, okay? For your information, some fan girls wish that that world was real and struggle with their sanity every day, okay? So just drop the act and tell me who you are and what you want, or I really will go all Mew Ichigo on your feline behind!"

Ryou looked at me and raised an eyebrow, and then cracked a smile, and started laughing his butt off! Between laughs, he managed to gasp, "You're funny. You actually don't believe me, do you? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised but…" He finally regained his serious composure. "I'm telling the truth. If you don't believe me then see for yourself. R200?"

"Roger!" Masha peeped. He opened his mouth and spit a golden charm onto the ground.

I scowled and bent to pick it up, but I saw something on my thigh that stopped me. It was a Mew mark, in the exact same place and shape of Ichigo's. I gasped. _Oh man, I'm in big trouble if my parents ever see that. I swore to them I'd never get a tattoo, and I'm sure they wouldn't believe this story. Wait- Why am I worried about something that is obviously a dream? That's right. I was in a car wreck. I'm probably passed out with nice, solid concussion that has thrown me into this fantasy land. Yeah, that's it._

I reached for the charm again. As soon as it was in my hand, something I can't explain took over. My hand raised the charm to my lips and I kissed it without thinking about it. Then came the words: "Mew Mew Strawberry, METAMORPHO-SIS!" And then, the _really_ freaky stuff happened. I did this sick, perverted dance while surrounded in colorful light. For a little bit, I was naked! But clothes soon began appearing in all kinds of places, and when the light cleared, I was dressed in the best Mew Ichigo cosplay outfit I had ever seen. All of the online pictures I had seen made her costume out of cotton, but this one was clearly silk. The boots were real leather instead of some scratchy, plastic imitation. And the gloves were – get this! – suede. But the icing on the cake was when I realized that I could hear the construction crews working in the park a mile away as if I was right there next them. And then something soft and furry wrapped around my leg like a snake. I glanced down, and there it was. A bona-fide tail! In my brain, my thoughts were that I wanted it to squeeze tighter, as kind of a test. And it did!

For final conformation, I walked over to my car – which was perfectly fine aside from being stuck in a ditch – and looked into one of the rearview mirrors. Pink eyes, pink hair, fuzzy cat ears. "AAHHH!" I screamed, or tried to. It came out as more of a, "NYYAAA!" I began to run around in circles.

I could hear Ryou's annoyed voice cut through my screams. "Geez! Don't freak out like this! You know what a Mew Mew is, so why should you be surprised?"

I stopped in my tracks and glared at him. "Because Mew Mews are fictional creatures, that's why!"

He looked irritated. "No, they're not." He pushed his hand back through his blond hair. "Geez. I have to explain everything." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Do you want to go somewhere and talk about it?"

I frowned at him. "Where's Keiichiro? He's a lot nicer than you."

Ryou sighed. "Unfortunately, Keiichiro actually _is_ a fictional character. No one is that nice in reality. The screenplay writers thought it would be a good addition to the story, having a pleasant character to offset my 'bluntness'."

By now, I was mega confused. I gripped the charm on my Mew choker and thought about how much I just wanted things to be normal again. My transformation dissolved me back into my original self. _Huh. So that's how it works._ "Yeah, okay," I told Ryou. "I am going to need a nice, long explanation for what just happened and why it all came out of an anime."

Ryou nodded before inquiring, "Well, where do you want to go?"

I answered, "Swirlz." It was closer than my house at the moment. I walked up into the parking lot of the local mental hospital. (Yeah, I know, ironic.) Ryou followed me as I cut through it and hopped over the curb and down the hill, which led to the back of a strip mall. We walked around to the front of this strip mall and stood on the edge of the parking lot by the street until it was safe to pass, which didn't take long. After crossing the street, we stood in the parking lot of a different strip mall. This one was double-sided, stores lining both the front and back. We walked around to the other side and there was Swirlz, the frozen yogurt shop.

And there was Joey, leaning up against his car, raising his arms and shrugging like, "What took you so long?" I derived a bit of satisfaction from the fact that he had waited for me. I did it again when he saw Ryou and I saw the expression on his face.

"Hey, Joey," I smiled at him. I made the introductions as I gestured with my arm from one guy to the other. "Joey, this is Ryou. Ryou, this is my friend Joey."

Joey blinked at the word 'friend', but then stuck out his arm to shake Ryou's hand anyway. "It's nice to meet you," he mumbled.

Ryou just nodded and grunted in reply. Guy lingo. Will I ever understand how it passes for communication?

"Alright, Ryou. After what just happened, you're paying for mine. I don't care if you have to drive to the airport and exchange yen or whatever. I'll wait," I said sarcastically.

"I have dollars, Kaylee," Ryou said in a rather annoyed tone. I wasn't surprised that he knew my name. He knew Ichigo's name when they first met too.


	2. The Explanation

Inside Swirlz, I twirled my spoon in my strawberry frozen yogurt. "So, Kaylee," Joey asked hesitantly, "where did you meet Ryou?"

"Outside the mental hospital," I answered before putting a spoonful of cold heaven in my mouth.

This made Joey laugh, as was my intention. "The mental hospital? The one just up on that hill?" he asked.

"Yup," I responded. It was true. I had wrecked my car in the field just across the street from there.

"Wow," Joey turned to Ryou. "I didn't know she liked nuts."

"Now Joey, who said that Ryou was the nut?" I winked, and Joey stared at me a little worriedly. "Btw, Ryou, thanks for breaking me out," I joked.

"You're welcome?" Ryou said, unsure of what was happening here.

Joey, who had already finished his frozen yogurt, pushed up out of his chair. A dark brown curl made its way into his face, and he brushed it aside with his hand. Taking his empty yogurt cup, he said, "Well, I've got to get going. I don't want the cops to think I'm an accomplice or anything." He winked at me and then left, tossing the empty cup into the trash can on the way out.

"Alright," I glared at Ryou, "spill. Everything. I want to know about why I'm a Mew Mew from an anime show, why Keiichiro isn't real and you are, and why there is more than one Masha. Speak."

Ryou raised an eyebrow again before starting in with a serious look on his face. "The Mew Project is real."

"Obviously. I just turned into a nekomimi freak back there."

Ryou glared at me for interrupting. "The Mew Project is real, and you are the first ever Mew Mew. There is no Mew Ichigo or Mint or Lettuce. There is only you. You are the first Mew."

"Huh?" I scrunched up my face in confusion.

Ryou exhaled in frustration. "Where should I start?" he rubbed his forehead. "Yes, I believe I should start there. Okay.

"My father founded the Mew Project. But then he was killed by the aliens for discovering a way to battle them."

"You mean by that random Chimera Anima," I interrupted again.

"_No_, I mean by the _aliens_. Pai, Kisshu, and Taruto killed my father for discovering the way to defeat them. That random Chimera was something that was put in the anime for what the writers called, 'realism'."

"So, you're saying the anime lied?" I inquired. "Why?"

"Let me finish!" he groused. "I took over my father's project and experimented on myself, as you saw in the anime. But I needed a way to throw the aliens off my trail. So, I turned the Mew Project into an anime as a means of protecting myself. The aliens left me alone because they assumed I was only interested in the fame and money brought about by turning science into a children's show. It was this and only this that kept me from being killed as I finished my father's research.

"As I searched for compatible DNA matches, I realized that the anime was also a good way of spreading the word about the Mew Project to the targeted audience; young girls. At first I thought this young age range would be the better target for Mew infusion as well, but later I discovered that being so young made the DNA match unstable. So I waited until my best candidates came of age. You were one of those candidates, Kaylee. That's why you're a Mew Mew."

"Whoa. Hold up, am I getting this right? You made up the anime and put little bits of truth in it to sort of spread the word about Mew Mews and prepare your candidates for their future jobs?" I asked, my eyes bugging out of my head.

"More or less," Ryou answered.

"Dude! That is sooo epic!" I could feel the stupid grin on my face, but it seems I wasn't able to make it go away.

Ryou smirked. "Yeah, I suppose it is. Well then, you understand now?"

I nodded, still grinning. "I'm a freakin' Mew Mew. So when do I find my team?"

Ryou's smirk vanished. "About that… The genetic marker that is necessary for the Red Data DNA infusion is not as common as I first thought. At most, there are about three people with it on each continent. Australia only has one; Africa only has two. Kaylee, you are the only Mew Mew in America."

My jaw dropped. "You mean I'm going to have to fight the aliens _alone_?"

"Yes, that's right," he replied. "But don't worry. The part that says you'd get stronger with more teammates is fiction too. You have all of the power you need, no matter what they throw at you. And for good measure, here's the pink R200." He sat Masha on the table. "I have to go now. But don't worry, Mew Strawberry, I'll be in touch. I have to go see about a candidate in Brazil now."

And just like that, he left. I sat with my head in my hands. This was cool, but it also sucked. It's not liked the aliens would ever attack a rinky-dink suburban town like mine. And I had other responsibilities besides my Mew Mew ones. What about school when that started up again? What about my parents? What about all of those fan-fiction readers that were eagerly awaiting my stories?

"Kaylee Smith," I moaned, "you are in huge trouble."

"Trouble! Trouble!" Masha repeated. I was just going to call him Masha. It was what I was used to.

After that, I got up and left Swirlz. Masha followed me. I walked back over to my ditched car and somehow managed to get it back on the road. Masha sat in the passenger seat and chirped about various things. After all that had happened today, I needed to go to one place, the place where I always was able to relax. The public library.

* * *

During the drive to the library, my mind wandered. _"Alright. So Mews Mews are real. And Ryou is real. And Kisshu – squee! – is real. This is awesome! No wait, this is terrible! How am I supposed to save the world from the aliens when I am an alien sympathizer? How am I supposed to fight Kisshu when I'm a Kisshu fangirl? Well… I suppose I could tackle him and start biting his sexy ears… No! Kaylee! Bad mew! You have to take this seriously. You have just been given the responsibility of protecting the entire continent from… Well, come to think of it, no aliens have showed up yet. With my luck, they'll probably attack New York or somewhere else. This suburban town I live in probably isn't of any consequence to them. I might never have to fight anyone at all, but…" _I sighed in frustration. "This is so crazily weird," I said aloud.

"Weird. Weird," Masha peeped.

I pulled into the library parking lot. _"Even if I do have to fight someone, that doesn't mean it will be Kisshu, right? I mean, if the Mews are split up all over the world, then I might end up fighting Pai or Taruto. I hope it's Pai, because Taruto is super annoying. Or at least he was in the anime…"_ I found a parking spot and stopped the car. As I opened the door to get out, Masha hovered over to my purse and strapped himself onto it with his tail, looking like a cute little cellphone case or something.

* * *

Inside the library, it was nice and quiet. I went upstairs and into the secluded corner of the building called the "Young Adult" section. (It was really the teenager section, but for some reason the library referred to it as something else.) It was a Tuesday. There weren't many people at the library today at all. Most that were here were using the computer lab on the other side of the wall. I walked around and trailed my finger over the spines of the books that sat on the shelves. But with everything that had just happened, I couldn't read some fictional sci-fi story like I normally did. Now that I _was_ a superhero, the last I wanted to do was read a book about one.

I stood there for a few moments before looking out the window at the sunny rooftop balcony. The second floor of the library wasn't nearly as large as the first, and the extra roof space had been turned into a nice little outdoor area with flower pots and patio furniture.

As I pushed open the glass door and stepped out onto the roof, I took in a breath of air before going to sit in one of the patio chairs under the sun canopy. The chairs surrounded a small glass-topped table and I smiled at the small pot of red flowers that sat in the table's center. It was the first time I had ever been out here. It was a good place for privacy, as no one else ever really ventured out here either. I stared at my reflection in the green-tinted glass windows that made up the walls of the building. They shone in the sunlight and were covered in a gloss that made seeing through them from the outside rather difficult. I sat my purse up on the table and sighed, ready to begin a nice long thinking session about every Tokyo Mew Mew fact that I knew. But then…

"Alien! Alien!" Masha squealed, detaching himself from my purse and flying up into my face.

Then I heard a voice behind me say, "Hey there. It seems that the scientist boy tricked us. You popped up on the sensors about a half an hour ago, cutie. And sadly for you, that means it's my job to kill you."

I glanced over my shoulder to see a very foreign but familiar figure. His golden eyes and green hair had haunted all of my daydreams for the last three years. He was pale and skinny and – most importantly – real. My hearing grew sharper and my spine sent a twinge of pain up my back from sitting on my tail. The cat appendages had made their first uninvited appearance. But I barely noticed. As I stared at Kisshu Ikisatashi, my only thought was, _"I love my job."_


	3. The Battle

I sat in the chair, unmoving. How could I move? The man – er, alien – of my dreams stood before me and told me he was going to kill me. _Squee! Wait, scratch that – Spaz! He's going to kill me! _I leapt out of the chair just in time to watch a silver sai get caught in the chair's metal backing that I was leaning against less than a second earlier.

"D*mmit!" Kisshu growled. "Well, you're only delaying the inevitable. If you want to turn your death into a game, that's fine with me. I could use a little fun."

I slipped my hand into my pocket and curled my fingers around my mew charm. My mind was too frozen to think of what to do next. Good thing instinct takes over once I'm holding the charm. I can't remember my movements. All I remember of those few seconds is a shout of, "Mew Mew Strawberry, METAMORPHO-SIS!" and me landing on the roof of the outdoor sun canopy, clad in pink battle clothes.

My mind snapped back into function when Kisshu rushed at me with his sai and a really loud warrior yell. I yelped and jumped, doing a backflip off of the canopy and sailing through the air, only to land on my feet on the rooftop. I managed to whimper, "But I don't want to fight you."

His hearing must have been stronger than a human's – _Oh, no duh, Kaylee! Those huge ears aren't just for added sexiness, y'know._ – because he stopped in mid-charge and mid-air. _Mr. Sexy flies too. Nya!_ I no longer wanted this to be a car-crash-influenced dream.

Kisshu chuckled and smirked. "Good. Then let's get this over with nice and quick. Stand still." He aimed his sai at me.

"I'm not just gonna let you kill me!" I screeched. My tail flicked once – nervously – causing the bell attached to it to ring.

He just smirked and flicked his wrist, releasing his weapon. I dodged the blow and crashed into one of the stray chairs on the rooftop, overturning it. I had no choice. It had come to this. I was about to break three years of fangirling with this solitary phrase. "Strawberry Bell!" The weapon appeared and I aimed it at him. "Don't make me use this!" I said with fake confidence that came across as totally cowardly. I realized that I had tears running down my cheek. _Oh great. Now I look like a scared little girl about to pee herself. I'm only crying because I don't want to hurt him. He's Kisshu! I ah-dore him! But no, all he's gonna see is some wimpy nekomimi with some lame sparkly weapon._

Kisshu raised a green eyebrow and grinned evilly, displaying his pearly fangs. _Oh I can't try to kill him at all. Not after _that. _Ryou will have to find the Mew Mew in Canada or something. Kisshu just flippin' smiled! I'm ready to hang up this bell for good. _He chuckled a little. "What's the matter, little Mew? Don't have the courage to do the job your DNA chose for you?"

_Did he just _insult_ me? I was expecting it, but… Oh, what the heck. I want to know if this weapon actually works. _"It's not that, but…" I began, smiling suggestively like my normal, brave self. His golden eyes widened and I thought I caught a glimpse of surprise in them. I took my opportunity. "Ribbon Strawberry – heck!" I started laughing. "I can't even take myself seriously. Like I'm gonna beat anything with a ribbon and a strawberry?"

He grinned and raised his eyebrows in amusement, his eyelids lowering into a smug expression. "You like me, don't you, kitten?"

_No guy figures out I like them without me wanting them to!_ "Ribbon Strawberry Check!" and a blast of pink light burst from the heart-shape I held and smacked Kisshu in the face. Oops. He landed on the rooftop with a thud as I stared.

It was then that I noticed the other guy; a human. He sat just inside the doorway of the library rifling through the contents of – my purse! I thundered to the door as fast as lightning, throwing it open when I arrived and smacking the culprit on the back of his head with my Strawberry Bell. "Seriously?" I roared. "I have enough to deal with right now without a random thief showing up! Give me back my purse!"

The man just stared at me, a horrorstricken expression on his face. From somewhere in the library, a librarian told us to, "Shh!" The robber just emptied his pockets into my purse and shoved it in my general direction before making a mad dash for the elevator. I gave a determined nod before scooping up the bag, zipping it shut, and then exiting back out onto the balcony. I leapt up to the roof of the second floor and left my purse there, out of the reach of random money-grubbers.

Suddenly, Kisshu appeared beside me. "That hurt, kitten. And here I thought you were going to be easy to deal with." His sai materialized in his hands again.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I admit that I overreacted. So… Do you want to go in the library and sign some sort of peace treaty or something?" I smiled amicably. He tackled me and pinned me to the roof, sai pressing against either side of my neck. The metal was warm and surged with some sort of energy just under its surface layer. I could feel my skin start to tingle rather unpleasantly, though my stomach was doing quite the opposite. "I'll take that as a 'no'," I managed to retort. He leaned in closer to my face and the intensity of the sting from his sai increased.

"You want peace, kitten? That's not going to happen. However, feel free to surrender. If you do, I'll make sure that we only enslave the humans of this nation rather than kill them. I might even let you live to be my own personal slave." He grinned in a way that let me know that his train of thought had just crashed into the gutter like mine had.

I bit my lip and searched his face for anything that looked like lying. But I wasn't sure how to read alien body cues and facial expressions. I steeled my pink gaze on his golden one. "I'll think about it."

He frowned and tightened his sai on my neck, but then loosened them a bit. "Are you serious?" He didn't seem to believe me.

"Yes, I'm serious," I snapped. "It's a major decision. I have to do a whole cost/benefit analysis and calculate the odds of my failure if I try to fight and all of that stuff. If it was just my life at stake here, I'd probably say 'beam me up'. But you threw in the entire country, and frankly, that's a _lot_ of people. So yeah, forgive if I need to think about it for a couple of days." I could feel the defiant scowl on my face. I could see it reflected in his honey-gold eyes. I would have looked pretty scary if my eyes and hair weren't pink and I didn't have cat ears sprouting from my head. _No wonder he always messed with Mew Ichigo in the anime. It is extremely hard to take her – or, me – seriously._

He dropped his sai and they clanged on the roof beside me. One of them scratched my neck as it fell. He smirked and leaned in close, whispering into one of my human ears, "You're in no position to be making such demands, kitten. But this is entertaining, so I'll oblige. Three days. If you haven't made up your mind by then, I'll kill your people and _then_ force you to be my slave whether you want to be or not."

I shivered, but it wasn't because I was afraid. This was really turning me on and I didn't know what to do with all the energy that was welling up in my body. My mouth was right up against his ear; his sexy, elven ear. I quickly stuck out my tongue and licked it on some freaky impulse. Was this some kind of kitty kiss? His head shot up and he stared at me quizzically with those intense eyes. _Kaylee, you are in soo much trouble. So much sexy trouble._ I managed to choke out in a rather breathless voice, "Like I said, I'll think about it."

"Good girl," Kisshu cooed. "But before I let you up," he gave me a seductive glare, "I'm getting revenge for that."

I didn't have to ask what he meant. Ear licking is a very strange thing to do. He leaned in again and grabbed my chin forcefully. And then I knew that one thing was about to go down the way it did in the anime. My very first kiss was going to be Kisshu Ikisatashi. _"I love my job,"_ I thought again as his lips closed over mine. The pressure he exerted with his kiss was almost painful. And then there was pain as one of his fangs cut my lower lip. He pulled back and looked at me with a devilish grin on his face before standing and vanishing.

I lay there for a few moments, trying to take it all in. Finally, I stood on the roof of the second floor and looked down at the balcony. The only evidence of our battle was that one of the chairs was knocked over.

If I really did like Kisshu, then why did I feel so violated? All he did was kiss me. Considering his reputation, it could have been worse. _But you're basing him off of the anime character._ I reminded myself. _This real-life Kisshu could be totally different from the fictional one you're used to. What if…? What if he doesn't even like me? What if he hates me and is just utilizing what he sees as his opponent's greatest weakness? And what if he has no intention of keeping the bargain we made?_ It was then that I knew: As much as I wanted – _really_ wanted – to give into Kisshu's charms, I couldn't. I was going to have to fight him with all of my strength. This battle wasn't about me or my absurd affections. It was about Earth and the people on it that I had been charged to protect. _"I hate my job,"_ I grumbled inwardly.

I stood on there on the roof and looked out at the things going on around town. I had friends here. I had enemies. And I had family. So I did the only thing I could. I struck a provocative pose and said, "For the future of Earth, I'll be of service!"


	4. The Decision

**Author: Woah. Ten reviews already. I'm glad this is going over well. Sorry if it isn't as awesome as some of my other stories, but I'm just winging it chapter by chapter, so forgive me if the plot is lacking. But this is a comedy story. And since when did those have plots? I hope you guys enjoy my twisted sense of humor. And have a good day/night. :)**

* * *

Somehow, I ended up consulting a fluffy pink robot for advice. Masha sat on my desk, and I sat in my chair, and both of us stared at one another.

"So Masha, do you think that I should tell someone that I'm a Mew Mew?" I was asking Masha because (1) Ryou was in Brazil, (2) Keiichiro was apparently a fictional character, (3) There were not - and according to Ryou, there never would be - any Mew teammates to consult on the issue, and (4) No one else knew - unless you counted Kisshu. And it's not like I was about to go to my enemy for advice.

But Masha was not a very helpful partner. "Mew. Mew," he repeated. I merely raised an eyebrow at his response.

* * *

I found myself walking across the street and knocking on the door or my best friend, Ginger. I could tell by the open and empty garage that she was the only one home. When she opened the door, her blue eyes met my brown ones and she just knew that something had happened. We're on the same wavelength like that. TMM was Ginger's only anime obsession. She spent more time coming up with independent science projects. Ginger was more of a nerd than an otaku, but since TMM was the only anime I loved too, it worked. I had watched other animes, but never really liked them quite as much. Our inside jokes were often related to TMM, like the one she was bringing up now. "Gee whiz, Kaylee. You look like you just got turned into a Mew Mew or something."

The correct response was, "After what happened today, I wish - more than usual." But what I said was, "Well, actually…"

Her eyes widened. "Kaylee, you had better not be trying to make a baka of me."

"I'm serious, Ginge. I'm a Mew Mew. The anime apparently only exists because it was based off of something real and-"

She interrupted. "Kisshu's behind you."

"Ah! Where? It hasn't been three days yet!" I screamed, feeling the cat ears burst from my head.

"What the spaz!" Ginger shouted. It was even louder because of the extra ears that I had. "Get inside! No one can see you like this."

* * *

After telling Ginger everything that had happened, I sat on her bed and looked up at her. She ran a hand through her long, blonde hair and said, "Well, you've had a busy day, huh?"

"No duh," I replied. "So now I have to decide. I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to protect everyone. But what if I could protect them better by surrendering? I mean, slavery is better than death, even if it is just barely. But if I could win, I don't want to be the one that causes Americans to lose their freedom. It's kind of what they're famous for."

Ginger frowned a bit. "You're an American too."

"Yeah, I know. But I can't look at this in a personal way. If I do, then all I end up with is that Kisshu is really hot." I stared up at Ginger's ceiling as she seated herself on the purple comforter next to me.

She chuckled. "His species is infinitely cooler than ours too. I mean, humans can't fly like that. We have planes, but you can't exactly feel the wind in your hair with those."

I nodded in agreement before murmuring, "Well, this is a nation for the people and by the people. Should we take a vote?"

Ginger shook her head. "_No way_. If the government finds out about this whole thing, you _and_ Kisshu will both be turned into lab rats. It won't be pretty."

"Well then Ginger, it's up to you. Do you want to be a slave to aliens?" I asked tiredly.

She wrinkled her nose. "Considering what that might entail, not particularly."

I nodded slowly. "Then I guess I fight. It's not about me. I'm a Mew Mew. It's what I was born for, I guess."

* * *

Or at least, that's what I told myself. But then a certain someone began appearing at random (literally) and my resolve started to crumble. Don't ask me how Kisshu found out where I live. But as soon as I returned home from Ginger's house, there he was, hovering close to my ceiling and staring at the lighting fixture. When he saw me, he winked. "Yo, cutie."

I just stared at him. Why was he in my bedroom? Why wasn't I enjoying this? Was the Irimote Cat DNA dissolving all of my attractions because he was a threat to Earth?

_"No,"_ I decided as he teleported behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I practically collapsed against his chest.

But then I felt it. Or more accurately, didn't feel it. The vibe that washed out from him didn't speak of love or kindness or anything gentle and caring. There was plenty of lust and greed and selfishness, but the tone that thrummed through it all was a smug sense of victory.

And it was then that my theory seemed proven true. He wasn't doing this because he had any particular affections - or even attractions - for me. He was doing this because he thought I would surrender if he did. This was not the Kisshu with which I was familiar, just as I was not Ichigo Momomiya. The Kisshu I knew was made up by Ryou or some screenplay writer. The Kisshu that was with me now seemed much too cold and calculating in comparison, and I found myself wondering if he was even capable of love.

To make matters worse, Kisshu refused to leave that night. I lay in my bed with his arms wrapped around me and prayed that tonight wouldn't be the night one of my parents decided to come into my room. I didn't want to fall asleep on the shoulder of the guy that had threatened to kill me only nine hours earlier, but I ended up doing it anyway.

One thing Kisshu didn't know about me was that I have a _really_ small bladder. I awoke to the sensation of having to pee. I opened my eyes upon remembering his presence and pretended to be asleep for a little while longer. He was talking to someone. I heard his voice but the words were muffled in my sleep haze. I forced myself to focus on the sound, closing my eyes and ignoring the nerves that sent the message of my bladder's fullness to my brain. Finally, I was able to decipher his words.

"Yes, Pai, I know… I'm sure it _will_ work, but why can't I just kill her now? ... Alright, alright! You need a specimen to study. I get it. … Trust and the like is important. I know that. But she only has to trust me until we have her, right? … I still can't believe that I have to flirt with a human. … Shut up, Pai! I know my own reputation. Of course I don't mind messing around with females of _our_ kind. But this is a human, Pai. It's… disgusting."

I knew it. I moaned and began to move in my sleep. Kisshu murmured, "She's waking up. I've got to go."

Rolling over, I asked, "Kisshu, can you move, please? I have to pee." I was trapped between him and the wall. _Kaylee, you are an idiot, allowing yourself to be cornered like that._ But Kisshu nodded and moved out of the way. After using the restroom, I reentered the bedroom and groped around on my desk. "Where's my hand sanitizer?" I mumbled. But I wasn't looking for my hand sanitizer. When I found what I was looking for, I brought it to my lips before chanting, "Mew Mew Strawberry, Metamorphosis!" I said it quietly to avoid waking my parents.

I turned around and glared at the alien. "Deal's off, Kisshu! I overheard your little chat with Pai. For being a total jerk, I'll make you pay!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh dear. What are you talking about, kitten? You must have had a nightmare."

"Don't pull that crap with me! Now get out!" I suddenly wasn't very worried about waking my parents. I had fallen into the closet door and made a really loud noise once, late at night. Neither of them had woken up. Why should they now?

Kisshu narrowed his eyes at me. "Whether I like you or not isn't the question, kitten." His voice was so cold that I shivered. "Whether or not you want to save your people is. I'm merely trying to help you."

"Like heck you are! If you really wanted to help me, you'd go back to wherever it is you came from."

"According to human psychologists, your species only raises their voice like that when they have no logical way to argue their point of view," he smirked.

"According to the girls' rulebook of actions, raising my voice indicates that I'm having PMS. And that stands for P*ssed Majorly, Sister. So don't mess with me right now or you're likely to get dead."

He chuckled. "You humans are certainly amusing." The way he said it sounded like he was looking down on me.

"Yeah. Our reactions would be amusing to a species as emotionless as yours," I retorted.

He frowned, his eyes glinting dangerously. "You think we're emotionless? You humans are to ones who lack any basic compassion."

He had finally reached the topic I had been debating with Ginger for two years: Why don't the Mews react more compassionately to the aliens' dying-planet circumstance? But standing here, I finally knew the answer. "You're forcing us to choose!" I spat. "You think we're about to just let our species go extinct in order to preserve yours? Never. If you were open to some sort of negotiation and integration, then we would probably help you. But since you've already made it so clear that your kind finds ours so _'disgusting'_; then I guess this means war."

"Fair enough, kitten. But I don't like mixing business and pleasure. I'll see you tomorrow." And just like that, he was gone.


	5. The Do Over

I was on Ginger's doorstep at ten in the morning. I spent the next two hours crying over the loss of my fangirl delusions. "He doesn't even like me, Ginger," I wailed, leaning on her shoulder. "He's so mean."

"Now Kaylee, just because a boy doesn't like you, that don't mean they're mean."

"But he _is_ mean. The anime got him all wrong, Ginger. He's not a crazy psycho that doesn't know how to express his feelings in a rational manner kind of mean. He's just _mean_. Cruel, calculating, cold-hearted _mean._ And I still think he's hot anyways," I bawled. "I mean, his hair is so _sexy._ And his teeth are so _sexy_. And his figure is just so-"

"Sexy, I get it," Ginger scowled. "I know that his species is very physically attractive, but that doesn't mean that a relationship between our kinds would be rational. It's probably for the best that you found about it."

"Ginger, he called me _disgusting_."

"You've been called worse."

"Shut up! I know I have. But it's never been by anyone that mattered!"

"And Kisshu matters… why?"

"Because he's so… he's just so…"

"Kaylee, if you say 'sexy', I swear to Ryou I'll hit you."

"No…" I raised my head. "I was going to say sweet. You know, because of how he died for Ichigo in the last battle and everything. But I just realized… that's not Kisshu. That's some fictional character made up by someone else. I keep expecting the real Kisshu to be exactly like fictional Kisshu. Ginger, Kisshu isn't _Kisshu._ The alien that I've been fighting and the alien that I've been obsessing over for three years; they're not the same person."

"Kaylee…" Ginger began.

"What?" I asked timidly.

"You are so slow."

"Shut up! I can Ribbon Strawberry Check you if you tick me off too much."

Ginger laughed. "And I can expose you to the Channel 3 News. So, now we're even."

I finally managed to laugh too. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Then I got a text. The name from my contacts lit up on the screen: Joey. Talk about déjà vu. The text said: -"Do over? Meet me Swirlz again n 15. Don't bring Rio." I giggled. He had spelled Ryou's name wrong. I showed the message to Ginger.

"See," she smiled. "Just the thing you need to get your mind off of this Kisshu crap. Go have fun. And don't forget: Offend him first, and then flirt with him. You keep your mystery that way."

I raised an eyebrow. "Ginger, I haven't been trying to win Joey over for a long time."

"I know," she replied. "But sometimes it's just fun to mess with them, don't you think?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "It could help cheer me up too."

Ginger nodded. "Knock him dead!"

I wasn't sure if she meant Joey or Kisshu. But I went anyway.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I sat on a barstool in Swirlz at one of the really tall tables. Joey smiled at me and laughed at some joke that I can't remember. His ice-blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight that was streaming in from the window. We each had a cup of frozen yogurt; his a Peanut Butter Paradise. Mine was a Choco-Lot, as I reasoned that PMS really might have been contributing to these powerful mood swings I'd been having. Oh - Powerful Mood Swings – PMS.

Joey stared at me. "So what's Ryou doing today?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of the daze I had slipped into. "Oh. He's in Brazil or something. I don't know." I put another mouthful of cold chocolate in my mouth.

"Oh," Joey raised his dark brown eyebrows. "So… long-distance dating, huh?"

I almost choked on my froyo. "Oh gosh. Ryou and I _are not_ dating."

"Oh really?" he perked up at this, the loose ringlets of his ear-length hair bouncing a little with the upward motion of his head. I had just scooped another bite into my mouth when he said, "Then would you consider going out with me?"

This time, I spat my yogurt out onto the table. Joey was lucky that I ducked when I did, or it would have been in his face. "I'm that bad?" he asked, wrinkling his nose and staring at my rejected mouthful. I started laughing. I couldn't help myself. "What's so funny?" he asked me.

"Oh, just life and its many ironies," I answered vaguely. I wasn't going to tell him that I had pined for him for half of the past year before finally losing interest, and relished seeing the shoe on the other foot. Nope.

"So, will you?" he asked, looking slightly hurt. And this was the first time I had _ever_ seen Joey look hurt. He's not exactly the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve.

I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could…

"Hello there, cutie," mocked a cold voice. A pair of pale arms snaked around my shoulders and pulled me off of my stool.

"Who the heck are you?" asked a very ticked off Joey. It was now plain to see that he was annoyed by our dates getting crashed by random guys.

"Kisshu!" I growled. "Let go of me!"

But Kisshu merely leaned down and purred into my ear, "Oh, please don't tell me that this loser is the one playing the Aoyama role."

I froze. Two shocking ideas fought for significance in my brain. The first was, _"No way is Joey going to be the Aoyama to my Ichigo. I mean, ew!"_ But the second was more important, and I voiced it. "_You_ watched the _anime_?" I turned my head sideways to stare – disbelieving – at my alien captor.

"Of course, darling," he cooed. "It was considered the only form of research able to be done until you showed up. It was terrible, so of course I jumped at the chance to meet the first real Mew. I was bored out of my mind!" He chuckled a bit and hovered backwards, taking me with him. Then he sat me down in a chair and ripped one of the ribbons off of his clothing, using it to tie me there. "Now you just stay here. I'm going to kill the tree-hugger and make all of the fangirls happy."

I paled. _I forgot to tell him that I'm not dating Joey!_ I squirmed in my chair as Kisshu made his way to where Joey stood near two discarded cups of frozen yogurt. I turned my head and spotted the frightened store clerk hiding behind the metal door marked "Employees Only", her head peeking through a small window on the side of the door. I locked my eyes with hers and mouthed, "Help me." She stared at me with wide, hazel eyes and shook her head.

I looked back to Joey and saw that Kisshu had him pressed up against the glass window, choking him with one hand. My heart started beating so very fast. _I can't let Joey die, no matter how much he's ignored me over the past six months. And Joey isn't even a tree-hugger!_ I felt the cat appendages pop out. With my improved sense of hearing, I noticed that Masha was screaming, "Alien! Alien!" as loud as he could. A glance at my purse showed a round object trying to force its way through the fabric. Well, that was the last time I shoved Masha in my purse.

Then I heard a gasp. I turned my head, and there was the frightened cashier, still peeking out her window. She left momentarily and then returned with a piece of paper, a message scrawled across it in black Sharpie: **"R U A Mew Mew?"** I met her eyes and nodded. How could I deny it with animal ears sticking out of my head? She left again and then returned a few moments later. She quietly pushed open the door and tiptoed across the tiles, a pair of scissors in her hand. As she cut the piece of cloth that bound me to the chair, she whispered, "I'm Ellie." She smiled at me. She looked about my age.

"Thanks, Ellie," I replied softly. "But you'd better get out of here now." She nodded and slipped back into the back rooms, and I assumed she'd take the back way out of the restaurant. I grabbed my charm from my pocket and the world around me became a blur when I shouted, "Mew Mew Strawberry, METAMORPHO-SIS!"


	6. The Marathon

**Author: I can't believe I already have 17 reviews! Wow guys, thanks, all of you! I especially enjoy SonicXMinagirl's little rants about how hot Kisshu is. And thanks to The Wolf for saying that this is the best fanfic ever. That really made my day. it might even make my entire month, for that matter. :)**

* * *

Okay. So now I was transformed. And now what? What could I do? Kisshu still had Joey pinned up against the window. In fact, now that I had transformed, Kisshu turned to me for a moment and smirked before turning back to Joey. "Bad move, kitten." A sai appeared in Kisshu's free hand and he pressed the point of it into Joey's temple. "You take one step, and he's likely to get dead."

He was using my own words! My words were being used against me. And sadly, he had me. Joey's eyes were filled with fear. "Kaylee," he keened, "what the heck happened to you? And who is this guy?"

"Joey," I said bluntly, "I'm not Kaylee right now. I'm Mew Strawberry. Keep up."

He laughed nervously. "Okay. Whatever that means."

"Kisshu," I addressed the alien, "let Joey go and tell me what you want."

"Isn't is obvious?" he cackled, still looking up into Joey's frightened face. "I want you to surrender, kitten. You do that, and I'll let your lover boy go."

"Hey, Joey is not my boyfriend. He was actually just asking me out, and I was just about to say 'no'." Total lie. It hurt seeing the look on Joey's face, too. But I had to protect him the best way that I could think. However, at the moment, I couldn't think of anything. I was just about to give up when it happened.

There was a yell. Then Kisshu's sai arm was suddenly hit with the business-end of a target Taser. The electricity coursed through him and forced him to drop both his sai and the arm that held it. A figure to the left ducked back behind the counter. _Ellie._ "Strawberry Bell!" I called for my weapon. Throwing it like a boomerang, I watched it hit the arm that pinned Joey to the window. That thing must be made of tougher stuff than it looks like, because Kisshu swore and let Joey fall, stumbling backwards into a table.

"Joey, get the heck out of here," I snapped as I ran to Kisshu. Joey nodded and hesitated for a moment, but soon found his feet and the door.

I looked at Kisshu spread across the table and said, "You too, Ellie. And thanks for all the help." The store clerk jumped up and ran out the back.

I leaned over into Kisshu's ear, pinning him beneath me. "I know you want me all to yourself," I whispered, and I felt him shiver. I was freaking him out, and I was enjoying it. "But if you want me bad enough to threaten my friends, remember, I'm not the only one with the ability to surrender. And just so you'll always remember this moment…" I leaned my mouth closer to his ear and bit the upper cartilage, making sure I drew blood. I spat the red liquid back on his ear for lack of a better place, and then rubbed it in a little too. I wanted it to scar. _I'm going to let him know that if he wants to play dirty, I am just as good at it as he is._ My discarded yogurt cup had been knocked off of the table in the battle, and it was overturned in the chair next to me. For kicks and giggles, I took some of the drippy, melting treat and brushed it over the unwounded part of his ear. Then I licked it off.

I then stared into his golden eyes. They were filled with hatred and disgust. He spat on my cheek, but I merely grinned. "Thanks for the free DNA sample. I'll be sure to give it to my head scientist," I added. His eyes widened in anger and… Wait – Was that fear? Seriously? _He_ was afraid of _me?_ "You're scared." I didn't hide my surprise. "Well, I suppose that makes sense. I could kill you, right here and right now, and you know that." I leaned back so that I could see his whole face. He was majorly p*ssed. "But because I _really_ want you to remember this moment, I'll let you go. My superior probably won't be happy about it, but I'll have you know this: Humans aren't the heartless ones here. I'm sure I'll regret this, but I know I would also regret not giving you a chance to do the right thing. But keep in mind Kisshu, with me, you only get one chance. If you need proof of that, you can ask Joey." _Ironically, I would have given Joey a second chance. But Kisshu doesn't know that. And now, for his own protection, Joey will never know that either._

I turned and left, scooping my purse up off of the floor and unzipping it to let Masha free. As I demanifested from my Mew form, Masha screamed, "Alien! Alien!"

I replied, "I know, Masha. I know." I walked out of the door of Swirlz and headed to my car, parked directly out front. From the driver's seat, I was able to see through the glass window and into the shop. I expected Kisshu to have vanished already. But he hadn't. He sat on the table, staring at me with some indecipherable expression on his face. As I watched him watch me, he reached a hand up to his bloody ear. And just before he vanished, I saw him smirk.

Masha chirped, "Text. Text." The robot held my phone with his tail. I figured that I might as well reply before I turned the car on and started driving.

"Thank you, Masha," I said as I took the mobile device in my hand. The text was from Joey… again.

-"Kaylee, what the heck happened back there? Who was that creepy guy and… Mew Strawberry… What? How?... WE NEED TO TALK!"-

I groaned before replying, "Meet at my house ASAP." It was probably better that I hadn't got to answer Joey. After finding out about this, he wouldn't want to go out with me anyways.

* * *

At my house, I watched Joey pull his tan car into my driveway. I stood on the path that led to the front door with my hands on my hips. Across the street, Ginger peeked out from behind her curtains. I nodded at her, and she disappeared, only to cross the street a few moments later with a multiple-CD case in her hands. She had borrowed my DVDs, and now I needed them back.

Joey got out of the car and strode around the front of it to stand before me. "Well… talk!" he looked very angry.

"Ginger," I said. She nodded as she stepped onto the path.

"I have them," she smiled.

"Good," I replied. Then to Joey, "You want answers? I hope you have eighteen hours to spare."

* * *

Inside, we explained to Joey about an anime that had been made to spread the word about a very _real_ impending war. Some parts of this anime were true, but some things were fictional edits. Then we put in the first disc. Ginger sang along in Japanese when the theme song played. "Ribon wo musunde warate mitara. Kawaata watashi ni nareta ki ga shita. Chiisuna yuuki ga gishin ni naru." I didn't feel like singing. At least, not at first. But then I got into it right around the part where Kisshu's picture shows up. "Doki doki sasete ne! Itsudemo toki mi tahino. Ironna watashi misete ageru dakara. Moto moto suneou ni. Afurelu kono kimochi wo. Anata ni todokaitanyou. Uke tote ne ne. MY SWEETHEART!"

"What is the purpose of all of this?" Joey asked.

"Just watch the show," I demanded, grinning at the TV screen. Joey sighed and sat back to watch the first episode of Tokyo Mew Mew. And then the second.

When it was over… "So Ryou is _that_ Ryou?" Joey asked, wide-eyed.

"Pretty much," I answered. "He's my boss… sort of."

"Be quiet! The third episode is coming on!" Ginger hissed. To my surprise, Joey actually shut up and watched the next episode. After that was over…

"(insert expletive here)! What a (cuss)! That little (bleep)!" Joey profaned, over and over and over again. "That (yep, another one)! Who does he think he is? Ichigo didn't ask to be kissed. For the love of all things holy, why?" I blushed profusely. It was a good thing he didn't know about what happened to me at the library yesterday. And just when I thought I was safe, "Did that (swear) elf do that to you too, Kaylee?" I looked up into a pair of wild blue eyes. Joey looked ready to kill someone… that someone being Kisshu.

I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't. "Episode four!" Ginger announced. A smoldering Joey finally sat back down. The aftermath…

"Oh. So this guy has a habit of ruining dates, does he? Little (expletive number six)," Joey sulked on the couch. After the fifth episode, he yawned. "Rhythmic gymnastics? Oh man, that was sooo boring." When the sixth one finished, "Was that even English that she was speaking? It didn't really sound like it."

"It's called, 'Engrish'," I informed. "It's English with a terribly thick Japanese accent."

When the seventh episode was over… "'No angel could have an ugly face like that'!" Joey was bent over, heaving with laughter. "Wow. That Pudding girl is my favorite character now."

"She actually said 'evil face'," I corrected.

"Do you care what she calls that (beeping) elf?" he inquired jovially. I did, for some odd and inexplicable reason. But I wasn't going to tell him that. And I was also getting sick of his cuss words.

We had finished episode ten when I was fed up. I handed him the CD case and said, "Go watch the rest of these at home. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Okay," he nodded, accepting the DVDs. "So, when did you become a Mew Mew anyway?"

"Umm… yesterday," I answered.

"You can't even keep your secret identity for one day? Kaylee, you suck as a super hero," he laughed before walking out the front door.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, glad to see him go. I was also glad that I hadn't agreed to go out with him. He had annoyed the crap out of me today. "What do you want to do now?" Ginger asked me. What I really wanted to do was smack Joey. But I had already missed my opportunity.


	7. The Change of Plans

That night, I had an uninvited guest… again. "Yo!" Kisshu waved at me, perched on the back of my desk chair. I found myself asking how he could do that on such a thin rail of wood until coming to the obvious conclusion: _He flies, dimwit._ I was shocked to see him there, but only barely.

"Kisshu, don't make me use this!" I pointed at the pocket that concealed my mew charm.

"Your pocket?" he raised a doubtful eyebrow.

"No!" I snapped. "My transformation charm! I would show it to you, but I can't touch it without going all crazy-instinct and transforming by accident." He chuckled at me. "Why are you here, anyways?" I found myself asking.

He answered, "Research. Pai says I'm not supposed to fight you anymore. I have to study you instead. It sounds horribly boring."

I gave him a questionable glance. "What brought that about?"

He pointed at his slightly maimed ear. "This. Since Pai is the science guy on board, he has the most medical training. While he was doctoring the… _injury_, he found your DNA all over it. – You spit on me, remember? – So, he asked me what happened. Since the wound was a bite and your spit was there… and something about the position of the teeth marks… Pai calls it forensics. I had to tell the truth because none of my lies matched the evidence and such. You really embarrassed me, kitten."

I saw no correlation between what he was saying and his change of assignment. "And this all ties into your job changing… how?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly. "I told Pai the truth. He decreed that I only got out of there alive because you let me go." Kisshu blushed a little bit. "So, he decided that he wasn't going to put me in harm's way anymore. He just wants me to observe you. I'm not even supposed to be speaking with you, really. But research is boring enough already. It will only be even duller if I have no one to talk to."

"You're sure that's the only reason you want to talk to me?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. "I happen to think that you assume you'll get more intel if we chat and the like. You think you'll get me to say something I shouldn't, don't you?"

He gave a low laugh. "You're smart, kitten. Thanks. I was supposed to determine your intelligence level. Oh! And I already got a DNA sample too. So, thanks for spitting on me." He winked at me.

"Do you expect that I'll just let you follow me around?" I asked angrily.

He licked his top lip contemplatively before stating, "Yes. For the sake of your friend across the street and the life of that tree-hugger loser."

And there it was. He had me… again. "Alright, fine! But Joey's not a tree-hugger," I sulked. Then something else hit me. "No one in the anime ever calls Aoyama a tree-hugger. That's normally done in forums and fan fictions. You… Did you read…?"

Kisshu smirked. "I actually have indulged in some of those fan fiction things. I convinced Pai that they were a good source of possible theoretics. I needed a respite from the mundaneness of that show and its plot. After about the twentieth time, I got tired of seeing fictional me be such a lovesick loser. If there was a Deep Blue, I wouldn't betray him for some human girl."

"There's not a Deep Blue?" I asked incredulously.

"No, there's not," he answered matter-of-factly.

"So you read stories about yourself in which you don't act like you? And have seen a TV show about it too? Gosh, that must be weird. And here I thought becoming an anime magical girl was strange… But for you it must be like… ten times as weird."

"Are you trying to understand my feelings, kitten?" Kisshu asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Um… Maybe a little bit?" I replied, unsure if I was or not.

"Don't," Kisshu commanded bitterly, scowling.

"Why not?" I huffed. And then it dawned on me. "You're scared. You think that if you find out I'm not as heartless as you've been trained to believe, that you might actually turn into that 'lovesick loser' from the anime, don't you? You're scared of me! And it's not because I could kill you. It's because I could…" I trailed off before saying the words 'love you' and thought hard to replace them. "Care about you," is the phrase I decided on.

His frown deepened, and so I knew that I had hit the nail on the head. "Maybe you're not so smart after all," he commented.

"So you're going to tell Pai that I'm dumb, then? That will only protect me, you know. Or was that your intention?" This time, the one who was smirking was me.

Kisshu shook his head rapidly. "Quit playing mind games with me!" he hollered.

"If what I'm saying is bothering you, it's only because it's true," I told him. "It may be in your subconscious somewhere and you aren't aware of it yet, but that doesn't make it any less true. If my words didn't ring a bell somewhere inside your head, then you'd only be laughing at me right now."

"Shut up!" he snapped, rising from his 'seat' and swinging an arm at me. My cat appendages burst forth as I ducked. "You little (bleep), shut up," but his words lacked any real force. He sounded almost agonized; seemed to be trying to convince me to keep some unspoken secret. I was sitting on the floor and leaning against the footboard of my bed. His figure arced over me; his feet on the floor, his right fist against the wood as the arm that he had used to swing at me was now supporting his weight. The way he breathed hard suggested that he wasn't used to bearing this weight, and something about it seemed almost metaphorical. His golden eyes were slightly glazed over. He looked tired and confused and oh, so sexy. Those gorgeous eyes stared into mine. He moistened his lips before parting them and asking, "Why couldn't you just surrender?"

Staring up into those eyes, I saw something that the anime never showed. In the show, Kisshu had always been playful and feisty and a bit of a pervert. But never had I seen the anime character possess the burden that seemed to be bearing the real Kisshu down now. _"Is it hard?" _I wondered_. "Always being the one that makes the jokes; never being the one to hear them. It must be awful having to cheer up everyone else and never getting cheered up by anyone yourself."_ And it was then I knew what I had to say. So I said it. "Because that would be boring…"

He snapped out of the sorrowful daze. His eyebrows raised, his eyes gleamed, and the edges of his mouth curled up into a smile. It started with a suppressed giggle. That soon changed into maniacal laughter. And after seeing something that was never in the anime, it surprised me that they had gotten his laugh just right.

* * *

When Joey arrived the next afternoon, I was surprised to see Ginger with him. One look from me and she shrugged. "I saw him come over. I figured I might as well be here too."

Joey stared me in the eyes; his were slightly crazed and had dark circles underneath of them. "I stayed up all night," he said stoically. "That. Was. Awesome."

I looked at him. "Yeah? Well, apparently I'm never getting a teammate. I'm going solo on this biz. Something about the rarity of genetic markers. And Keiichiro is a fictional character. And so is Deep Blue."

"Aw man, that sucks!" Joey frowned.

Ginger widened her eyes at the one new piece of info. "How do you know there's no Deep Blue?"

Oops. And then Kisshu appeared above us all, hanging by his knees from one of the blades of the ceiling fan and said, "I told her, because it's true." Double oops.

"What the heck is he doing here?" Joey yelled up at the ceiling with a frown. He took one aggressive step forward before swaying back and forth and almost falling into a lamp.

"He's not… You're seeing things. You've been watching _way_ too much, way too fast. Take a nap on the couch. You'll be better when you wake up," I said only half-jokingly. I was kind of hoping he would buy it. The last thing Joey needed was to pick a fight with Kisshu while he was this sleep deprived.

"Joey may be seeing things," Ginger snapped, "but I slept perfectly sound last night, thank you. And I know what I see. I see a Cyniclon on the ceiling fan!"

"We're not called Cyniclons," Kisshu grumbled.

"Let me at 'im!" Joey growled, stumbling forward like a drunkard. He promptly fell on his face. Kisshu chortled at him.

Ginger ignored Kisshu's statement and just stared daggers at me. "Why did you let the enemy in your house? This is real life, Kaylee, not some sappy fanfic fluff piece! He could kill you in your sleep, y'know!"

"He threatened to kill _both_ of you if didn't let him stay and 'study' me, or whatever his job is now. Was I supposed to let him do _that_ instead?" I retorted.

Ginger crossed her arms sulkily. "No, I guess not." Then she looked at me with worry in her blue eyes. "But you're my best friend too, Kaylee. I don't want you getting dead either."

"Why are you guys talking about me as if I'm not here?" Kisshu inquired peevishly. I was getting stressed out because suddenly three people were very angry at me. Then a noise from the floor caught and held all of our attentions.

Joey was snoring. And drooling. It was kind of gross, but yet funny at the same time. "Chocolate chip cookies," he moaned, "with peanut butter!" He smiled in his sleep and some more drool trickled out of his mouth. Now I couldn't blame him for the drool. I mean… he was dreaming about cookies.

Ginger stared at him. "What should we do?" she pondered aloud.

"Take pictures and put them on Facebook," I grinned wolfishly.

"Okay!" Ginger agreed with a smile. From his place on the ceiling fan, Kisshu raised a curious eyebrow.


	8. The Week

**Author: Wow. So many reviews. :D Okay, so thanks to Pirate Lass to Jack Sparrow for the computer cupcake with Kisshu's face on it. I wanted to eat it (just so I could say that I ate Kisshu. *sniggers*), but I also didn't want to eat it (because I did not want to destroy his sexy face). I have decided to encase the cupcake in paraffin wax and save it as memento. And to shadow346437, thanks for the compliment on the official-sounding writing stuff, especially since this story is purely improvised. But now I'm going to have to make the story longer because you brought up realism. *sigh* Realism is hard in winging-it story. And for everyone else that posted the "XD"s and the "LOL"s and the "I could NOT stop laughing"s, thanks. This story is a comedy, after all. If it didn't make you laugh, then I am a horrible authoress. Now onto the story!**

* * *

Kisshu was in my bedroom. Ginger and I sat on the couch, USB cord plugging the camera into the computer. We had imported the photos already and were uploading them to Facebook. "Should we tag him in them?" I asked Ginger.

"Of course," Ginger replied. "He is in the pictures, after all."

"Okay…" I giggled as I typed in the name Joey Heinz… thirty times. Thirty pictures of Joey sleeping like a baby. Thirty pictures of Joey snoring. Thirty pictures… of Joey.

Ginger went back home. Joey woke up, told me he had a weird dream about Kisshu living with me before he fell into the music of the Tokyo Mew Mew ending theme, and then left.

I went to my bedroom and found Kisshu rummaging through my drawers. "What are you doing?" I snapped.

"Research," Kisshu answered without turning around. He grabbed something and pulled it out of the drawer. "Could you tell me what this is?" he turned to face me. And he was holding… my bra!

"Oh my gosh! Give me that!" I shrieked, flinging an arm out to retrieve the undergarment.

He lifted it up out of my reach. For good measure, he floated up to my ceiling. "Why?" he raised an eyebrow. "Is it dangerous?" He examined the object in his hand. "Can I hurt you with it?"

"No," I replied, jumping and trying to reach him. "Just give it back."

"Not until you tell me what it does," he crossed his arms and glared at me.

I set my eyebrows and growled through my teeth, "It is an object designed to help maintain mammary elasticity. Now give it back!"

His eyes widened and he looked at it again before turning red and flinging it across the room. "That's for…? That was on your…?" His entire face was flushed and even the tips of his ears reddened slightly. "That… That…Um…"

I picked the bra up off of the floor and returned it to the drawer. "Yeah. You see? You shouldn't go touching random things. You don't know where they've been."

Kisshu nodded wordlessly. I raised my eyebrows at him. It was really ironic. I had read tons of fan fictions where Kisshu knew what a bra was and he touched it _on purpose._ This was the exact opposite of that. It was sort of amusing. The real Kisshu wasn't very much like the fictional one at all.

* * *

We spent the rest of the evening asking each other questions. "What does that do?" Kisshu pointed to my blow dryer.

"It dries my hair after I get out of the shower. So… Did you ever like any of the fan fiction stories that you read?" I answered before shooting off my own question.

"There was one author I liked. KayWeeBear789. They didn't write cliché things like a lot of others. They never put me with Ichigo. I liked that. What's this?" he plucked a thumbtack from my corkboard.

But I wasn't listening to him anymore. Why? Because KayWeeBear789… was me.

It was around nine-thirty and I got a text from Joey. – "KAYLEE! WHAT'S WITH ALL OF THESE PICS ON FB?" – I started laughing. Kisshu asked me what was so funny. I showed him the text, but he didn't understand. So I pulled out my iPod and brought up Facebook. Then I showed him my 'Naptime with Joey' album. When Kisshu still didn't get it, I explained that everyone who knew Joey could see the embarrassing pictures of him.

Kisshu gave me an odd look. "What's so embarrassing about sleeping? You humans have to do that rather often in order to survive, correct?"

"Yeah, but… He looks like an idiot. See?" I flipped to a picture in which Joey was licking the carpet.

Kisshu looked at the picture inquisitively. "From what I understand, humans have no control over what they do when they sleep. So why is something that he does while sleeping considered embarrassing?"

"Kisshu," I started, "he's _licking the floor_! It's gross."

"But he didn't know he was licking the floor. So why is it funny?"

I gave up. Explaining human humor to an alien was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.

* * *

Kisshu spent every day that week at my house. He left to report his 'discoveries' to Pai at night. Over that week, things happened. Strange things happened.

* * *

Day One:

I woke up that morning to find Kisshu floating on my ceiling. "Wake up, kitty cat. It's time to start the day." And I did start the day, with another round of twenty questions. Kisshu asked about everything. "I found these objects in that small room with the giant bowl filled with water." Did he mean the bathroom? "I'd like you to explain their uses." He sat down; a roll of toilet paper, a tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush, a can of hairspray, a razor, and a box of… tampons!

I glared at him. "What did I tell you about not touching things?"

"You're not my boss, kitten," he smirked, winking at me. And so I did what he asked. When I had finished….

"Human. Females. Are. Disgusting," he said each word slowly. He looked kind of shell-shocked.

I wrinkled my nose. "Yeah. You've said that before."

* * *

Day Two:

I decided to make a pizza for lunch. I preheated the oven and stuck the frozen circle of dough, sauce and cheese in to cook. I asked Kisshu if he wanted something to drink.

"You're not going to try to poison me, are you?" he asked suspiciously.

I rolled my eyes. "Nope. That would be pointless. Your species is different than mine. I couldn't poison you even if I wanted to. I don't even know what _would_ poison you."

"Oh," he saw the logic in my statement. "Then yeah, sure. I'll drink something." And that's how I found out that Kisshu Ikisatashi is allergic to aspartame. Note to self: Never give Kisshu a diet soda again.

Later that day, I got a text from an unknown number. – "Strawberry, this is Ryou. I finished infusing Mew Mint in Brazil. I'm on my way to China now. My sensors have picked up alien activity in your area. Be ready for anything." – I just thought that Ryou's sensors were a little late.

* * *

Day Three:

Kisshu found out that I was KayWeeBear789. "You wrote me more like… me," he told me while trying to comprehend that his enemy and his favorite author were one and the same. I wasn't sure how to take that. If I wrote him like the real him, then that meant my stories had the anime-Kisshu out of character. So… was my writing awesome or terrible? "You always made sure I never ended up alone," he said gently. "You always made up some random girl who could understand me. And you never put me with that dunce, Ichigo."

I winced. "I got criticized for it too."

"So why did you still do it?" he asked me.

I gulped. Was I going to tell him that I thought I was a _way_ better match for him than Ichigo? Was I going to tell him that every single character that ended up with him was somehow based off of me? No. I wanted to, but some things are better left unsaid.

But he figured it out on his own. "You really care about me, don't you, kitten?"

* * *

Day Four:

Kisshu was really quiet all day. I don't know why. When I asked him what was up, he replied, "Nothing. I'm just… thinking about something."

* * *

Day Five:

Kisshu grabbed me from behind and teleported to the very top of the Eiffel Tower. No… This tower wasn't black. It was red. This was the Tokyo Tower. Why were we in Tokyo? But Kisshu didn't say anything. He just kept staring at the horizon. Back at home, it was just around dinner time. But there, on top of the Tokyo Tower, we watched the sun rise.

When the golden sphere had cleared the horizon, he finally spoke. "It's the start of a new day, kitten. Today, everything changes, because it isn't yesterday anymore."

He teleported back to my room. Here, the sun was starting to set. I looked up at Kisshu and asked him what he meant by the thing he had said. He gave me a playful look. "What are you talking about, kitten? That hasn't happened yet."

I was about to go all, "Yes it did," on him when I remembered. _The time zones… In Tokyo, it's already a new day. But here, yesterday is just ending._

* * *

Day Six:

I woke up to Kisshu's arms wrapped around me. This was new. I wasn't going to complain or anything. It felt nice. But I was still wondering why when his golden eyes slid open. "It's the start of a new day, kitten. Today, everything changes, because it isn't yesterday anymore."

"Kisshu?" I asked timidly.

"You were right," he answered. "I was scared. And rightfully so." He gave a little sadistic laugh. "Just call me 'loser' now, okay?"

Did he mean…? Had he… fallen in love with me? But when he leaned over and pressed a sweet, gentle kiss on my lips, I knew the answer was, "Yes."

* * *

Day Seven:

Kisshu sat in the corner when I awoke. He had out a sai and twirled it in his fingers, staring at it. When he looked up at me, the eyes that had been so full of affection yesterday were now full of sorrow. "It's the start of a new day, kitten," he murmured sadly, his voice cracking a little bit. "Today everything changes because it isn't yesterday anymore." I looked at him, not comprehending his meaning. He explained, "My research is over, kitten. I have to go back to killing you again."

* * *

**Author: Noooo! Why? Why? Why? Or... at least that's what you guys are thinking.**

**This is just an end of the story promo. Please check out my new story, "Darker Than Death". It's rated M for death and..._ other things,_ if you catch my drift. It's very angst and drama, so if you're looking for something sad and intense, check it out.**

**Also, I now have a slogan. Sort of. "E.A.F. for O.C.s" What do you guys think? I specialize in OC stories, so it seems appropriate. Thanks for reading 'This Has to Be Some Kind of Inception or Something'. (Geez. Is that not the longest title ever?) Until the next chapter, this is E.A.F., logging off.**


	9. The 'Battles'

I stared at him in disbelief. "What?"

"Just what I said, kitten," his voice was suddenly hard and emotionless. It lacked the love that had permeated it yesterday, the confusion from the day before that, and the curiosity he had had all week. He flipped his sai once in his hand before dropping it into his lap. But it didn't land in his lap. It disintegrated into thin air. "Pai changed my job again. I have to fight you now." He got to his feet and walked halfway across the room, staring at me as I sat in my bed, staring back at him.

"Kisshu…" I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. It felt like I had won the lottery and then lost the winning ticket before I could claim my prize.

Kisshu managed a small smile. "But I've told you before, kitten. I don't like mixing business and pleasure." He suddenly teleported directly in front of me and gave me a quick peck on the mouth. Floating backwards a little, he whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow."

I stared at my lap and blushed furiously. I knew he was about to leave, but I didn't want him to. "Kisshu, wait…" I trailed off when I looked up and realized that I was talking to an empty room.

* * *

"What?" Ginger yelled in surprise. "You… he… you… And now he has to kill you?" I had told her everything that had happened this past week. I needed to tell someone. I had fallen in love with my enemy, and he with me, only to be reminded that we were in fact… enemies. Ginger furrowed her brow. "Tomorrow, you have to trick him into drinking a diet soda," she concluded.

I sighed dejectedly. If only it were that simple. If only I could use the weakness I had learned this week against him. But Kisshu's allergy to an artificial sweetener wasn't going to save me. My Strawberry Bell wasn't going to save me. Nothing could save me, because I wasn't fighting an enemy. I was fighting someone I loved. And the pain that stemmed from that fact… nothing could ever save me from it.

* * *

There is one farmer left in my suburban town. He has fields in the most random places. Two are beside one of the town's main streets. A couple of them lie off of some back road, separating two different subdivisions. But the largest of his fields is actually right behind my house. My back yard slopes down into a corn field, separated by nothing but a chain-link fence and a small row of trees.

And this was the field I stood in today, clad in Mew Strawberry's mini-dress, cat appendages sticking out of my head and rear. I was very thankful for the knee-high leather boots. They would be good protection against any snake that might be in here and decide to bite me. But I was out here today for something bigger than a snake.

Masha floated near my shoulder, shouting, "Chimera Anima! Chimera Anima!" over and over again. My muscles were tensed. I was ready. But then I saw it. It was a giant snake-like thing that hissed at me. As I stared at it, I thought something along the lines of me _so_ not being ready. I waited for it to attack, but… it didn't.

That's when Kisshu burst out from behind a row of corn stalks and pinned me to the ground. He was smiling. "I think I've solved our problem, kitten," he grinned at me.

"W- What?" I struggled to grasp his words in my shock.

He leaned his face down and kissed me on the cheek before saying, "We don't have to fight. We just have to _act_ like we're fighting." He kissed me on my other cheek and then added, "Pai's sensors only tell him our positions. They don't tell him what we're doing." He kissed me on the forehead now. "And so, as long as I have a Chimera, and as long as your Strawberry Bell goes off every few minutes…" Kiss. "… we're in the clear. We can do whatever we want. It won't even look suspicious if I'm on top of you." He smirked this time. "Pai will just think we're wrestling." Kiss. "But we won't be." Kisshu stared into my eyes, and I into his. I remembered how they had been hard and metallic almost a week ago. Now they were and smooth and sweet as honey.

I thought about his words. If we weren't going to fight, what did this mean for us? For Earth? For Kisshu's race? But when he dipped his face in again and kissed me on the lips, I realized that I really didn't care. And maybe that's why I kissed back.

* * *

This went on for quite some time. Kisshu and I had our little 'battle' rendezvous and Pai was none the wiser. Ryou texted me and let me know that Mew Lettuce was infused in China. Pai dispatched Miru (a female alien) to fight her. Ryou informed me that Mew Pudding had been found in France. Pai sent Taruto after her. And when Mew Zakuro was uncovered in Australia, Pai himself had to leave headquarters in order to battle her. The Brazilian Mint was fighting a male alien who Kisshu told me was called Natir. All around the globe, Mews fought aliens; except for in America. God bless the land of the free and the home of the brave and our melting pot spirit and all that jazz. Here in America, Kisshu and I made out and had the time of our lives.

But one day, Kisshu showed up with some sort of bazooka-looking device. He aimed it at me. "Sorry, kitten," he apologized. "I still love you, but I have to save my people. So today, I make you mine." He was acting more and more like the anime Kisshu as of late, but I hadn't expected this. "You're too much of a threat as you are now. But I'm going to fix that." Then he readied his weapon… and fired.

The pain was intense. I was thrown into another world. It seemed almost like a vision. And as the pain intensified, I saw a cat come out of my body and leave me. No… It didn't leave me. It was more like it was _yanked out_ of me. It hissed and squalled and clawed the air. Tears blurred the edges of my vision. - Actually, it might not have been tears. - But nonetheless, the blur was there. As the cat was pulled farther and farther away from me by some unseen force, I stretched my hand out toward it. But I couldn't reach it, and I couldn't move. "Wait," I whimpered. "Come back. I need you!" But all that happened was the wall opened in one place like a door, shining white light into the eternal darkness. The cat was pulled through the door, and the door shut behind it. Then the world went black.


	10. The End

When I woke up, I didn't know where I was. There was a cold, concrete wall surrounding me on three sides. The other side was made of iron bars. The floor was made of brick and had a drain in the back corner of the room.

I tried to process everything. _The last thing I remember is being shot by Kisshu's weird bazooka and having a cat ripped out of me. That was a really weird vision… unless! No! Does that mean that my cat DNA is gone now? - After that… I don't remember anything. - But why would Kisshu take my DNA? I need it._ It was true. I did need it. I felt incredibly weak without it, like my body was lacking something vital. I remembered what I learned from my biology class. _My body needs all of its DNA to do things like make proteins and break proteins and – and… All kinds of other stuff! If my DNA is messed up, there will be protein errors and vitamin absorption issues and… _I felt the blood drain from my face. _If I don't get some DNA to fill the gaps soon, I'm going to die!_

At that moment, Kisshu teleported into the room. Now that I thought about it, it looked more like a cell. "Thanks for all the help, kitten," he grinned at me, his fangs twinkling in the low light. "That Anti-Mew ray was Pai's prototype. He wanted to see if it would work, so I tested it for him. And now that your Mew Mew DNA is gone, we can be together forever."

I wasn't a Mew Mew anymore. I could no longer protect my friends of my family. Why? Because I had gotten romantically involved with the enemy. And Kisshu didn't want us to be enemies anymore, so he had done something about it. I was such a fool. How long did I think that our precarious relationship could have lasted? I should have known that something would change. But I hadn't expected Kisshu to be the one to change it. And now that the aliens had a weapon that could destroy the Mew Mews, Earth would likewise be destroyed.

Kisshu stood over me as I sat there on the floor, staring up at him, trying to keep from passing out again. He knelt down and cradled the back of my neck in his hands, pulling my face closer to his. "Let's celebrate, kitten," he cooed. Then he drew me into a kiss and forced his tongue in my mouth.

I no longer wanted his love. I didn't want to sacrifice my world just to be with him. But as my head spun like his tongue in my mouth, I knew that my weakened state made me powerless against his advances. I didn't have any physical strength left in me. Or… did I? Because, all of a sudden, I had my hand around the back of _Kisshu's_ neck, pulling _him_ closer.

For some reason, my body was acting on its own. I guess that my brain was too out of it. Something I couldn't name urged me – no, _propelled me_ – to suck face like it was my final lifeline. It was no romantic attraction. It was no lustful desire. It was some sort of survival instinct that I had no hope to understand. And the longer I kissed him, the more my head cleared. I finally managed a thought: _Drink his spit._ It grossed me out and soothed me at the same time. What was this? Drink his spit? But it repeated over and over in my brain like some sort of sick mantra. _Drink his spit. Drink his spit. Drink his spit. _It was like I was some sort of messed-up vampire that forgot I had to drink _blood_. I heard Kisshu make some sort of happy noise. And then the world went black again.

* * *

I had a really weird dream. I was in a realm full of bubbles. But I wasn't alone; Kisshu was there. He looked at me with his golden eyes and smirked, like he knew something that I didn't. He walked toward me and wrapped me into a hug. It was the warmest hug I had ever received; literally, temperature warm. As much as I wanted to hate him right then, I found that I couldn't. I was so cold. And here he was, warming me up. I hugged him back, and that's when he disappeared. But I didn't go with him. It was strange… If he was holding me while he teleported, wouldn't I go with him? Somehow, I realized that he hadn't teleported. And even though he was gone, his warmth remained. It flowed through my veins and right into my heart. I chuckled gleefully. It was weird. It was almost like… he had gone inside of me.

* * *

I woke up in the cell again. As I looked around, I noticed that there was a cell across from me. In that cell slept a girl around my age. An alien with fuchsia hair teleported onto the expanse of brick the served as a walkway, separating the cell that held me from the cell that held the girl. He had his back to me. He spoke. "It serves you right, Mew Mint. You shouldn't have tried to fight us. Now, you'll die like the inferior species that you are." He laughed cruelly before leaving the same way he came. They had started capturing the other Mews. And it was entirely my fault. And Earth was going to die.

* * *

Kisshu came back a few hours later, looking paler than usual, his eyes widened in fear. When he saw me, his expression shifted into one of relief. "I'm so sorry, kitten," he apologized. "I didn't know this, but… the DNA that I took out of you… without it, you'll… die." He swallowed and stared at me with worried eyes. "The other four are already dead. I thought that you were too, but you seem to be okay. It doesn't make sense as it happened to you first, but I'm glad you're alright anyways." He tried to smile, but his lips faltered. "Kitten, what's wrong? You look mad."

I looked mad because I was scowling at him. And I was scowling at him because I was mad. I hated him. He had used me as a guinea pig for Pai's little experiment without even knowing the possible after-effects. He had brought me to this place and locked me up. He was going to kill my entire world. He claimed to love me, but he didn't know what love was. So of course I was mad. I felt betrayed.

I automatically found myself reaching for my mew charm before registering that it wouldn't work. - This fact was probably why that hadn't taken it away. - But my fingers had already curled around the metal pendant, and a familiar instinct rushed over me again. I brought the charm to my lips before yelling, "Mew Mew Quiche, METAMORPHO-SIS!" Halfway through the transformation, I realized that the words were wrong. But it seemed to be working regardless, so what was I worried about?

When I had finished transforming, I whirled on Kisshu and glared at him. He gaped back at me, his eyes wide with shock. He flung his hand over his mouth and blushed, backing away. I was surprised that I could still transform too, but there was no reason for him to be _that_ surprised. Or at least I didn't think so until I caught a bit of my reflection in his eyes.

I glanced down at my clothes, expecting a pink mini-dress. But instead I saw a long, flowing skirt that hung from my hips. The cloth was brown tweed. It opened in an A-line-seam over a black piece of fabric. A red belt of some kind of cord was tied at the top of the skirt. My stomach was open and exposed and _much_ thinner and paler than it had ever been in my lifetime. My top was a corset of black and brown shapes; the stiches and hems were red. I looked at my hands. The fingernails were almost claw-like. I _had_ to find a mirror. And before I knew it, _I_ had teleported. I, Kaylee Smith, had _teleported_.

I heard a gasp and saw a blue-haired, female alien drop some sort of pottery dish out of the corner of my eye. Before me was a mirror. As I looked into it, I couldn't believe what I saw. There, in front of me, was Kisshu. But it wasn't Kisshu. It was more like his female counterpart. And it was _me_.

I had long, forest green hair that trailed down my back in a braid. My amber eyes had slit pupils. My canine teeth had elongated and sharpened into fangs. And the other things that had elongated and sharpened… were my _ears_. I racked my brain for any explanation as to why this had happened. And that's when I remembered: _Spit contains DNA._

* * *

I woke up in the hospital. I could tell from the scratchy, white blankets and the beeping of monitors. My parents leaned over me. "She's awake!" my mother said happily. From the redness in her eyes, it was obvious that she had been crying.

"Kaylee, are you alright?" my father asked.

"No," I murmured. That seemed to be the loudest my voice would go. "I'm an alien."

"What?" Dad looked confused.

My mom rolled her eyes. "It's those stupid shows she always watches," she explained to him. Then she looked back at me. "Kaylee, honey, you were in a car accident. Do you remember?"

I did remember. "…Yeah. Wasn't that like… three months ago?"

Mom raised her eyebrows. "No, sweetie, it was only three hours ago."

"Do you remember what caused the wreck?" Dad asked. He clenched his jaw. I knew that he must be ready to kill whatever or whoever had hurt his little girl.

I nodded slowly. "There was… a bright, red light."

"They ran a red light?" Dad asked quickly and loudly. He was about to lose his temper.

"But sweetie," Mom said gently, "you weren't near any traffic lights. You were at that turn by the mental hospital."

I wasn't sure how to explain that the red light had come out of nowhere… That it was more like a flare or something rather than a stop light. So I merely said, "I have to pee."

"Of course, honey. I'll help you over there." Mom helped me to the bathroom door. When we got there, I told her that I was pretty sure I could that I could pee by myself, but I would yell for her if I needed help.

As I sat down on the toilet, the edge of my hospital gown moved up a little bit, and I found myself staring at my thigh. Then I saw it: a pink mew mark. And I knew that the red light hadn't been a flare.

~ The End ~


End file.
